NUI LENG KIDAH LO

NUI LENG KIDAH LO

Disclaimer: CIAMNUIH AHIH MANIN A BAN AHI LOLO NGAIHSUT BEH KISAM SE LO

ZIMBABWE EX-PRESIDENT ROBERT MUGABE' KAMMAL

1. Numeite aw, na pasalte uh leh na lawmngaihte un Mother’s Day ni-in hong nosiat (wish) lo ahih kei leh Sweet Mother ci-in la hong paihkhum kei uh leh na nawi uh ngawlsak (stop breastfeeding) un. (Na sin le uh cin sumh lo ding hi uh teh).

2. Na meel a siat leh meelsia na hi hi. Ka sungtawng hoih (inner beauty) hi ci-in gengen tawpsan un la, paulapna ding zon sese kei un. Bang hang hiam cih leh na sungtawng hoihna uh en dingin pasalte X-rays tawh a vak kuamah om lo hi.

3. Na nuntak sungin mopawi bawlna mun 100 val ah kihel napi tangkhat (single) in na om lai veve leh buk theihna dinga kizang puan/parachute (canopy) tawh na kilamdang kei hi.

4. Pasal khatin zawng 🐒 kiangah nahtang sangin khuaizu khum zaw hi ci-in a thuzawh zo a, a upsak zawh (convinced) leh tua pa'n Roman Father' kiangah naudalna (condom) zuak zo ding hi.

5. Na nuntakna ah thu leh la a hoih lam in hong piang peuhmah ciangin Dawimangpa hong pai-in na lawmngaih ding numei ‘girlfriend’ hong guan hi.

6. Ka sanggam numeite aw, guahzuk ciang bekin hong phawk in “I miss you” hong ci-in hong texts pasalte kikhemsak zo kei un. Bang hang hiam cih leh nang pen guahzuk cianga kidalna ding lukhu (umbrella) na hi kei hi.

7. Pasal 15 val in na nawi (breasts) hong tawpsak khit uh leh tua mun na nawi ci nawn kei in. Tua mun pen BAWNGLONG, I BAWNGNAWI (COWBELL, OUR MILK!) kici hi. Ka gen bangin hong zui un, "OUR MILK!"

8. Ka zakzak thu in, "Kiteen ma lupkhop loh ding, kipawl loh ding No sex before marriage)" cih ahi hi. Tua bang Pasian' geelna na hi le bel na zunthakna (penis or vagina) na mopawi ni in na ngah pan ding hi.

9. Pasal ten numeite nawi a tepsak uh pen a ngeina (normal) ahi hi. Bang hang hiam cih leh tua banga gamtatna pen i ngek lai pek panin kisin a, i khangno lai-in zong na kisin hi. Ahih hangin numei ten pasalte' zunthakna a tawpsak uh lamdang ka sa hi. Koi lai panin a sinkhiat uh hi ding hiam?

10. Pasal thazang/gawg (slim/slender) tawh kingai in dating pih pen a nopna khat om in kilawm (cool) veve hi. Ahih hangin a nawngkaihuai pen in ah a awm ah kingaisukin na lup ciangin a nakguh ten na biang ah Adidas cih laimal gelh uh hi.

11. Numei naupaai laite zahtak in. Bang hang hiam cih leh sex nei hi cih thuman tawh lahna (evidence) ding om khin ahih manin vak ngam ding thubaih hilo hi.

12. Tu hun-a numei pawl khatte minute nga sung nangawn tai (jog) zo lo napi un tua bang numei ten lupna tungah naikal nih pang zo dingin hong lamen ngai lai zen uh hi. Nang angsung ding bek na khual luatna thoihna dingin nipi kal khat sung crusade ah na va kihelna dingin hong kalh (demands) hi.

13. Ka sangkah lai-in na lawmngaih numei thum in pasal dang ten laikung/khedan muk kitante suihna (sharpener) leh limlang a leisak manun hong khenlawh nungsang uh bel numei limlim ka muang nawn kei hi.

14. Zawng mahmah napi lupna tungah a siam man lel hangin kingaihpih suk pah ngam numeite sangin lamdang ka sak zawk om lo hi.

15. Numei vom tawh kingai kimlai kikhen khak zah a thuak hak zaw thudang om lo hi. Bang hang hiam cih leh i inn ah meihol i muh sim nangawn in tua nu hong phawkkik sak in, hong kingaihsun sak ngaungau zo liangin kisuai ngaungau keei hi.

Translated by: Thang Khan Lian